It's so E.A.S.Y.

One of the cards we received at our shower had several pictures of babies crying on the front. The captions for each said "Hungry", "Hot", "Cold", "Wet", etc. It was meant to be a guide to understanding your baby. Of course, every picture was exactly the same. As Keith would say, "It's funny because it's true!".

When we were in the hospital (the first time), the nursery had Owen on a 3 hour eating schedule. They/I would feed him at 11:00, 2, 5, 8, etc. It was fairly easy to do because he would sleep most of the rest of the time. When we got home, we quickly got off that schedule. He appeared to be hungry every 1.5 to 2 hours, sometimes wanting to eat for an hour or more. The pediatrician told us to see a lactation consultant. We did, and $70 later, we still weren't getting more than an hour of sleep at a time. (Not to say she wasn't helpful; she did help me work on my form.) The good thing was that Owen was gaining weight, so we didn't have to worry too much about that.

Then our friend Jill let us borrow some books by Tracy Hogg, the "Baby Whisperer" (Keith calls her "The Hogg"). While I don't necessarily agree with/like everything she says, we learned some very important information. The most helpful to me is how to interpret you baby's cues. For example, if he is sucking his tongue, he's not hungry - it's self-soothing. We realized that we were probably feeding him when he wasn't hungry. He wasn't going to refuse the breast - he can use it as a pacifier. The main point of the Hogg's books are that babies like to be on a routine: Eat, Activity, Sleep (E.A.S.; the Y stands for You time while he is sleeping.) The whole routine would repeat in so many hours, depending on his age. The idea is that if he starts crying at hour two in a three hour schedule, he's probably not hungry; if he hasn't been sleeping yet in this rotation, he's probably overtired. Or, if he was sleeping, he may be wet (butt moving side to side), cold (bottom lip quivering), or he has gas (pulling his legs up).

The Hogg also has suggestions on how to get a baby to sleep for longer at night. She promotes doing a cluster feeding and a dream feed. A cluster feeding means feeding him before the normal time (2 hours on a 3 hour schedule; say at 5 and 7pm) and then feeding him without waking him up right before you go to bed (at 10pm).

I am happy to report that some of her strategies are apparently working for us. We are now on a 3 hour schedule fairly consistently (which is normal for his age). I have employed the cluster feed and dream feed (although I don't think he necessarily has to be asleep), and he is now waiting until 4 or 4.5 hours before he wants the next feed. Still some room for improvement, but things are getting much EASIER!

Other developments: Owen now has some tears when he cries (they don't start off that way). He is also showing more interest in visual things. When we put him in his rocker with the hanging toys he will first look at the dog, and then the cat. He will also turn his head to see who is talking. Every once in a while he'll give a look that appears to be a smile (not quite a conscious smile yet, but we'll take it!). His neck strength is also getting better day by day. He is getting better at getting his thumb in his mouth. Overall, he's getting cuter and cuter!

529 decision

I was aware that my content had been minimal since Owen was born, but I didn't realize it had been so lame even before he was born (only a handful of posts in January and February--I really thought I was a little more productive than that). And I've been putting off the "new father" post for five (!) weeks--missing 8 personal deadlines (weeks 2-7, one month and 50 days (yesterday)). But instead of finally addressing that, I'm going to follow up on my 529 post from January, since it's now easily fundable since Owen is here.

In retrospect, that post, while a nice summary, didn't really contain any content not easily obtainable from many other sources. I will rectify and maybe provide some alternate considerations.

After that post, I had settled on West Virginia's DFA plan, despite the higher expense ratio associated with the portfolio, because of DFA's allure and the structure of the all equity fund. Now that it's crunch time, there's some waivering between it and the Ohio College Advantage plan, which has a number of Vanguard offerings for one to get to a reasonably good self selected allocation, rather than something fixed (this is what put Ohio over Illinois. IL is cheaper, but there's fewer and less flexible options).

IN trying to decide between the two, a couple of questions have come up that I think are important to clarify how one will invest in a 529:

1. Is the 529 considered its own portfolio, or is it simply a component of our overall portfolio?
2. Are contributions to the 529 the full extent of the planned contribution to college, or do we expect to spend more outside of it?

These two questions speak to the risk (or lack of) that one can/should take in selecting a plan. To respond "own portfolio" and "all contributions" might mean one takes more risk early, and a lot less as college approaches. For Owen, the plan is to treat it as part of our overall allocation, but we don't plan on the 529 being the extent of our contributions.

What are the ramifications of that decision? For starters, it means finding a 529 that offers the asset classes we're already invested in. Not a problem--many plans have Total Market, S&P Index, International Index, Bond funds, etc. So then it becomes a matter of placement. One option I considered for a bit was "transferring" our REIT allocation to the the 529 by opening up a Virginia VEST account, which has a REIT option. This would allow us more tax deferred space and a straight forward approach to filling a gap of our allocation, but some of the costs of making that switch didn't quite appeal to me, not did splitting the allocation into different accounts. So then I started looking at Bond options--the Ohio plan offers a TIPS (Inflation protected securities) and Total Bond fund for a low ER. And I almost convinced myself that that was the way to go, until I remembered that a 529 is similar to a Roth in that all earnings are tax free, so we're better off investing for growth in the 529 to take advantage of that.

Which leads to the second part of whether the 529 is the extent of our contributions to Owen's education, which I find to be unlikely. This means we'll be using other assets outside of the plan. This is another reason to go for growth (equities) in the 529, rather than using bonds. As was mentioned in the exchange I had with Jot in the comments of the original post, you can borrow for college, but you can't borrow for retirement. So if the extra risk in the 529 doesn't work out, since it's part of one's overall allocation, that means there was even less risk (ie, more bonds/fixed income) in the retirement accounts. That means a more stable growth in a 401k/IRA. The two extreme scenarios are: (1) a lot of growth in the 529 to better pay for college, but less growth in the 401k/IRA (which isn't all bad, as that will all be taxed as regular income when the day comes) or (2) the 529 unfortunately doesn't take advantage of the tax advantages, since equites dropped. but because there were more bonds in the 401k, retirement is better accounted for. Sounds reasonably win-win to me.

The above isn't to say I plan that we'll have the 529 in 100% equities until Owen is done with school, but by treating it as part of our overall portfolio, it provides more flexibility in terms of how to structure our account, the risk that we can take (since risk elsewhere in the portfolio will be reduced), as well as taking greater advantage of the tax benefits of the 529.

This brings us back to the two main contenders. The DFA/West Virginia all equity option is 40% large cap; 35% small cap, 25% international, with a heavy value tilt. This doesn't quite fit our equity allocation (2x, 1x, 2x), but it is made up of 8 component funds that are constantly rebalanced so that minimizes risk to a small degree (not as much as it could since there seems to be increasing correlation of returns between different equity classes). The ER for the all equity plan is 0.88%

The options in the Ohio plan are broad Vanguard Indexes that can generally match our allocation. The only minor issue is that Extended Market and International Developed Markets don't quite fit the allocation areas I'd like to hit (small cap and a broader international index such as the FTSE all world index), but these same limitations are in my 401a/403b and that doesn't stop me from using them there. A mix of S&P INdex/Extended Markets/International similar to our overall allocation would have an ER of .29%. Splitting it into 4 funds (the 3 mentioned and either Total Bond or TIPS) would cause little change to the ER.

Based on the write up, it should be a clear Ohio is the proper option, but I still am compelled to strongly consider WV because of DFA's structured approach and strategies. But to use it, I'd have to either disregard that its stock allocation doesn't quite match our own, or break down the numbers (not a big deal with a properly set up excel sheet) to have it match our allocation plan. And then there's the potential rollover to another plan in 12-15 years. Another point not in it's favor is that the 529 is never likely to be more than 5% of our portfolio (or at least not for a while), so any super outsized gains that may be derived from DFA really wouldn't have a large impact.

But, then again, when it comes to college, every little bit helps, right?

How's it Goin' Owen?

Catchy, isn't it? This is one of our favorite things to say to Owen, perhaps only second to "You're a cutie! Yes you are!". (It's no wonder he's got a big head.) I once said "What's up, Doc?!", but then Keith reminded me that the cost of schooling would be outrageous, so I changed it to "What's up, Engineer!"

Yes, Owen, your parents are weird.

So, to answer the question, he is doing well. He had a good visit with our friend Amber yesterday. He also had a very brief, but important, visit with JT. (Don't worry, JT, there will be many more chances for a longer hold.) We had a group of people over to visit with Jim and Amber, who were visiting from Florida. It was great to see Jim and Amber and many of our friends. For me it was also a big step in a return to normalcy. Don't get me wrong, having a baby is great, but for a while there you think that you will never get your old life back. I realize that you don't ever fully get your life back, (which is a good thing imo), but pieces of it can return. I always like hosting, and our house is finally somewhat clean and orderly. I'm also starting to play Ultimate again, and getting out of the house more.

I'll also start working part time from home in a week. I have to work 20 hours to keep my benefits. I really don't know how anybody could go back full time at this point. Even if you do use daycare, it takes too long (about 10-12 hours) for me to get a good night's rest.

Speaking of daycare, we visited Bright Horizon's near my work last week. They had an open house with food and games for the kids and tours for those interested. It looks like a great place except for the price - over $1K a month! We're going to look into other options, including using the grandmas and working from home 1-2 days a week in order to delay daycare. But there are some pros to using daycare, but I'll leave that topic to another post.

Other things happening: We're still dealing with Owen's gassiness (which is apparently painful to him and smelly to us!). I gave up dairy to see if that helped. I'm not sure it has, although I haven't exactly done a good job at getting rid of all dairy (I still use some cheese). I think I'll drink a big glass of milk this week and see what happens. It could also be caused by other things in my diet, which I am also trying to cut out (excessive citrus, iron, peanut butter). The list of possible suspects is pretty long. Hopefully Owen's digestive system will mature soon!

Owen's Birth Story

(Written by Joanne)

I know this is pretty long, but I wanted to get the details of the birth down on paper before I forgot too much of it. I was really interested in hearing other birth stories when I was getting to the end of my pregnancy.

On Sunday, March 2nd we went to bed excited that the next day we would get to see LBA – we had an ultrasound scheduled for Monday morning. Little did we know!!

At 6 am Monday morning I started getting ready. I had actually spent the night in the guest bedroom since Keith had just stained the trim around the recently-installed windows in our bedroom and we didn’t want LBA to get any fumes. I noticed something was a little different when I went to the bathroom, but I wasn’t sure what was happening. Pretty soon it became very obvious – my water broke! (I had read that it can be helpful to have some adult diapers on hand for this occasion – they weren’t kidding!) Other than that I felt fine (no contractions), so I wasn’t freaking out. I woke Keith up, got dressed, and went downstairs to have breakfast. From the tour we took of the hospital the week before I knew that once they gave me any medication they wouldn’t let me eat anything. So I sat on the toilet (still leaking!) eating cereal and was telling Keith what to pack. I had meant to pack the hospital bag that weekend, but I wasn’t in a big rush so I didn’t get around to it. I had some thoughts that I would go into labor early, but I didn’t think it would really happen!

Surprisingly, neither Keith nor I were very nervous. We had an enjoyable car ride to the hospital, (despite the 7 am traffic), making jokes and getting sentimental. I didn’t really think I was going to have the baby that day. I thought that they would stop me from going into labor. Once we arrived at the hospital I checked into triage. When they checked me in I had high blood pressure and they kept asking me if I was nervous. I was going into labor 6 weeks early, of course I’m nervous!! But actually I wasn’t that nervous, I was just kind of going with the flow. Keith was also calm and in a good mood, which helped me a lot. The nurse in triage also thought that they may keep me from going into labor, but it really was up to the doctor. It just so happened that the doctor I had seen the most at my OB/GYN was on call that day (Dr. Frausto from Today’s Women’s Health Specialists). He said that the risk of infection went up when the water breaks, so since I wasn’t extremely early, they would induce me. Wow, we’re having a baby!!

So they moved me into a Labor & Delivery room, which are actually very nice and large at Chandler Regional. At this point (about 9 am) I measured 3 cm dilated. The nurses inserted an IV of Pitocin to get the contractions started a little before 11 am. I called my Reflexologist, Robin, during the wait to see if she could visit me in the hospital. I had heard that Reflexology (the massaging of pressure points in the feet) could help move labor along – a sort of natural inducer. She was thrilled to help out, and got to the hospital about noon and worked on me for an hour or so. Between the reflexology and the Pitocin the contractions were getting stronger. Since I was hooked up to the IV I couldn’t walk around that much. Keith was in deep study to prepare for what was to come, primarily by reading The Birthing Book, which came in handy for him. The first suggestion he made was for me to use a birthing ball, which is really just an exercise ball. Sitting on the ball really helped my back. This also allowed Keith to apply counterpressure to my lower back (the book he was reading said emphatically “if you learn anything from this book, learn counterpressure”). He would push on my lower back during a contraction, which helped at first, but once the contractions got really strong I couldn’t tell if it helped or hurt.

Keith’s parents had arrived at the hospital a little after 2 pm (despite getting lost, which is another story). It was nice to visit with them, but by 2:30, the contractions were very strong, at less than two minutes apart with very little relief between them, so I wasn’t up for visitors. I really wanted to avoid an epidural, but I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. The nurse could see I wasn’t getting relief between contractions, so she kept lowering the dosage of Pitocin, eventually shutting it off altogether. At about 4pm they measured me at 6 cm. Only 6?!! I was hoping for a lot more than that. I really didn’t think I could take a long labor if it was this difficult, so I asked for the epidural. It seemed like it took them forever to get everything set up. They gave me the epidural around 5:30 pm, but it didn’t seem to help me at all (a nurse later told me that was probably because of my high blood pressure). It did make me vomit though, which I had read speeds up delivery. I don’t know if it was the epidural or the vomiting, but when they measured me again at 6pm, I was fully dilated at 10 cm! So the doctor and all of the support staff (a nurse to help me and 3 people to take care of the baby since he was a preemie) came in the room and I started pushing at 6:10 pm. I could still feel the contractions, but couldn’t really feel the pushing, so I had to follow their instructions. I had told Keith previously that I needed him to keep a positive attitude and encourage me along the way, and he did an awesome job of that. While I was pushing he kept saying “You’re doing great, you’re almost there!”. Even though I wasn’t actually almost there! J (Keith says: my excuse was that I was seeing the back of his head, not the top. So for about 20 minutes, the head was basically rotating out and getting bigger, so I thought she was really close. Hey, it was my first time!). I had my eyes closed during each push, but I could tell from Keith’s voice how emotional he was getting. It really kept me going to know how excited he was since I was in too much pain to fully grasp the situation.

Finally, after 45 minutes of pushing, LBA’s (he was named later) head was out at 6:55, and the rest of him was out soon thereafter. He arrived into the world at 6:56pm to a very proud Mom and Dad (who was able to cut the cord). Since he was a preemie, they had to take him to the heater in the corner of the room to check him out, which was fine with me since it gave me an opportunity to rest. The placenta came out without a problem, and then the doctor sewed me up from the episiotomy which he performed (which I didn’t feel due to the epidural). After he was checked out and wrapped up I was able to hold him. Both sets of Grandparents were then brought into the room and we got our first Aspinall family photo taken.

I would’ve liked to avoid the epidural and episiotomy, but I now realize that the details of how he came into the world don’t matter all that much – as long as Mom and baby are healthy, that’s what is important!

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

But a picture doesn't always tell the whole story.

I'm not sure if blogspot shows who the author is, so I'll start off by saying this is a guest post by Joanne (just call me Caffeine Free).

When I announced I was pregnant at work, one of my coworkers gave me a journal to use during pregnancy. It had various questions to answer for each month and space to write in. I've never been much of a journal/diary writer, so I wasn't that into it at first. I kept up with it for the first couple of months, then ignored it for a while. At some point I realized how important it would be to remember everything I went through, so I started up again. Well, as you all can guess, the section for the 9th month is completely blank. :-)

Now I have come to realize that remembering everything that happens after the birth is equally important. Sure, we have lots of pictures to remember by (we post them to http://picasaweb.google.com/keithaspinall/Owen), but there is more to the story than just pictures. So I've made it my goal to start writing more of the story. At first the idea was to have some journalling for his scrapbook. But then we received more requests for updates from friends and family, so I am now entering the world of blogging. Owen is six weeks old today, so I have some catching up to do!

This weekend we celebrated Owen's due date. He was 40 days old on Saturday, but his adjusted age was 0!